PinkBeltRage

Where it's at

I think it’s funny with this whole celibacy thing…

I feel as if I’ve broken down and analyzed every single moment of sex.

From start to finish.

From that initial rush you feel sweeping through your body (ahem, fully clothed), which begins when lips touch.

Or perhaps this feeling starts, even before the contact, during those few seconds where you both move in close to kiss. As some invisible force goes to work, pulling your mouths together.

The air you share becomes dynamic. Breathing each other in, each electric inhale advances you closer, and your breaths combined, fan that spark.

Wouldn’t it be lovely to slow those moments? ...

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Build me up buttercup

30 May 05 ¦ Permalink ¦ Comments [6]

All this talk about mirrors and beds got me thinking about, what else…

SEX.

What if I had a mirror over my bed?

What would I see in it?

Hmmm…. I would most likely see me, with my laptop keeping me company. _{sigh. such an internerd!}

If I began to stare at myself, I would become critical and end up jumping out of bed. After thinking my arms looked flabby, I would proceed to do some tricep kick-backs.

I would never rest!....

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I'll take a Narwhal any day

31 December 04 ¦ Permalink ¦ Comments [1]

I guess it’s sort of like my fascination, since childhood, with Narwhals.

Yes, I speak of men’s penises, in particular those which aren’t quite straight. And I’ve been told once by such a man who possessed such a veering member, that, “Hell! Women pay extra for this shit!”

I’m still unsure what was meant by that, exactly. However, I will say that I always appreciate a man who sees the glass as half-full. Humor goes a long way with me.

I read an essay by Augusten Burrough’s recently, titled “Beating Raoul” from his excellent collection of essays, Magical Thinking.

It’s subject: a man he briefly dated, who possessed something known as the “micro-penis”...

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Borosilicate boners, part deux

31 August 04 ¦ Permalink ¦ Comments [4]

My first sexual experience was masturbatory and purely accidental at that. I had quite a fondness for figure skating (pairs) as a young girl and had many a fantasy involving being partnered with a lean, handsome, young man.

Intimate skating routines, finished off with my being hoisted in the air; pure invigoration. To me, that’s what sex would be like. And it was these various fantasies which opened the door to my sexual awakening.

As I’ve mentioned in an earlier essay, I had a curious fascination with penises. My first experience with one didn’t really allow for me to explore it the way I wanted, but rather obtain glimpses of it within the darkness of a parked car.

I had been going out with a boy, who I will refer to only as “boy”. Said boy, asked me politely if I would put him in my mouth. This was all purely scientific for me. I had many questions and wanted answers. So, I agreed; much to his delight…

Warning to my younger readers: mature-ish content follows. Or as dearest Burgs calls it: SMUT!

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Borosilicate boners

14 August 04 ¦ Permalink ¦ Comments [9]

When I was out with J2 the other weekend, the topic of balls came up. I was curious about men who shave them and J2 gave me the lowdown on the subject. Wow. I’ve never experienced shaved anything before. I’ve been missing out.

I used to work with a very interesting fellow who would always go on about how if he were a girl, he’d shave his area into a “cute heart-shape”.

Saying that it would just be “so sweet and adorable”. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I felt it would be saying “Hi, I’m skanky”. That’s just my opinion, I guess…

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Love will tear us apart

24 May 04 ¦ Permalink ¦ Comments [7]

I went out with a friend of mine this weekend. Nothing special, just dinner. I suggested we go back to my place for some Playstation and that’s when things went awry.

We arrived at my place, I told my friend to choose a game and get it set up, while I went to check my messages and use the bathroom. I’m a real video game nerd. There was a time when I stayed inside and up for days until I finished a certain Final Fantasy (Okay, well all of them really). Anyway, only a few select friends of mine (J2 and J4) know about this dark secret.

So back to the other night. I quickly exit the bathroom, looking forward to the fun ahead. I notice that the lights are out in my living room and that the TV is off as well. What the hell?

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Faking it

21 April 04 ¦ Permalink ¦ Comments [6]

Disclaimer, of sorts: Dear reader, I was just joking when I wrote this. It’s supposed to be funny. While I feel quite sorry for premature ejaculators, I am in no way looking for one. Sorry to disappoint. I just don’t like giving anyone the wrong idea.

Commercials for Viagra and the like seem to have put men with erectile dysfunction in the spotlight. Like it’s cool to have erectile dysfunction nowadays. Men are proud of themselves as they pop their potency pills with a smirk that says “Watch out ladies, here I come!”

But what about those other unfortunate men: the premature ejaculators? When will that be cool? When will their time come? I can’t help but feel a little sympathetic towards those unfortunates. The truth being that I suffer from the female equivalent. I don’t know if it quite classifies itself as “premature” though or if it’s just that I finish first and fast. Maybe this stems from an overachieving lifestyle, or being raised in a competitive household where my brother and I were always competing to be “the winner”. I don’t know.

I always come across magazine articles or the occasional episode of Oprah where women complain about never achieving orgasms and feel an obligation to “fake it”. I am also guilty of “faking it”, but not because I didn’t have one, but out of embarrassment for my own freakish condition I have to fake one later on.

Many times I’ve finished within the first few seconds, while the other person is just getting started. That makes sex a bit boring for me. I’m done, and now I have to lie around. Of course, out of politeness I go through the motions until it’s finally over and I can take a shower.

Do I have a serious problem here? Maybe I just need to relax more or try thinking about baseball. Or maybe I’m too efficient for my own good.

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